Are You Dominant or Submissive?
Are You Dominant or Submissive?
Being dominant or submissive is a chip off the old BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Sadomasochism, and Dominance and Submission) block. These are distinguishable from SM through its main focus on power dynamics over the physical aspects. Let’s explore the nature of dom/sub relationships and some quick tips on making things work.
During a D/S activity, one individual is dominant over another or holds some authority over them. Thus, people excited by dynamics of power often prefer D/S. It's obvious that power and sex mix well in society. A good example is the way most classic romance movies and books portray D/S type of relations. Images of a dominating lover who sweeps a submissive partner off their feet.
What Does This Relationship Involve?
Someone who enjoys D/S in a relationship, is likely to involve power plays during sex. The same is also sometimes true in other areas of their relationship. An individual may identify as a switch (meaning they dominate sometimes and submit other times), submissive, or dominant. The people in the relationship choose to either play the same roles always or switch roles depending on the occasion.
Most of the time, people want D/S to be something they only do occasionally. For instance, in pre-arranged scenarios involving sex. Such a scenario involves various kinds of power exchange. For instance, the submissive might give the dominant a massage or serve them food. The dominant may also restrain, punish, or order around the submissive in a way. Specific power role-plays like a pirate and a captive or teacher and student also work for some.
Role of The Dominant
In such a relationship, the dominant partner holds and controls the authority, consensually handed over by the submissive. A dominant partner is the director of the show, controlling how things flow along. The common roles of a dominant include making decisions, protecting, leadership, enforcing certain standards, or guiding. However, the most vital role is to maintain the environment of trust and responsibly exercise control.
Role of the Submissive
The submissive partner in a D/S relationship agrees to give up control and submit. This is done in complete surrender to the guidance or direction of a dominant partner. The submissive ideally draws empowerment from surrender as they enjoy relinquishing control in a consensual scenario.
Trust is necessary for surrender because it is closely associated with vulnerability. The submissive trusts the dominant though with a clear statement of essential safe words, limits, and consent.
Though the dominant partner is thought to have all the power in this relationship, the submissive is free to opt out.
Types of Dom/Sub Relationships
Such a relationship can be exclusive, romantic, or long-term (friends with benefits or one-night stands). Most often, dominant partners are called “Tops:, while submissive ones are “Bottoms”. However, other people, “Switches”, like to play both roles. Examples of relationships include:
1. Master and Servant
Besides sexual acts, this relationship focuses on other acts of service. Just like the BDSM classic of the submissive taking care of the dominant’s leathers and boots. However, there may be a twist in a context such as picking out someone’s clothes and getting them ready to step out.
2. D/S Lovers
This relationship involves a lot of the use of sex toys such as vibrators, but not whips. In this case, the submissive partner gets off on serving the sexual needs of the dominant as they are ordered.
3. Bondage, D/S types
This type of relationship entails partners indulging in bondage play with harness, leather and whips. You can play this out with a stranger, or since some skill and trust are required, it is preferable to have a regular partner.
Tips for Exploring D/S Relationships
The rule of thumb is, to do your research well. Find out the type of D/S you are and most importantly what works for your partner. This may need you to be a mentor.
- Figure out a partner: It is important to find a partner who enjoys your kind of play. This way you know who you want to explore this with.
- Set limits: Define boundaries at the beginning of any role play. This can be a verbal agreement to remain within the submissive’s comfort zone.
- Focus on safety: The mental and physical health of both partners is critical. Be aware of each other’s state of being. Establish a unique safe word so that it’s immediately clear.
Now you know more about D/S relationships, you’re free to explore your wildest D/S fantasies. Be sure to carry some member protection of course., Check out the best condoms on Earth, P.S. We’ve got you covered.